Humble? My ass!

Ah, I woke up this AM feeling utterly tired and after a bad dream, I did some soul searching. I write a grateful list each morning for the day before along with anything that’s on my mind and my reminder to what I want to be or work on today - it’s my check in with myself. Today, I want to post my check in, so I can let go:

 

Yesterday, I was grateful for finishing my morning run, for being able to work from home, for the sunshine, for discovering that i apply my sympathy with much force at times, distributing unwanted advice and projecting my feelings unto others and I am thankful for the Brit's love and patience.

 

Today, i woke up after a disturbing dream, where i distinctly felt like i had to prove myself, that i needed to show that i was more than. It left me tired and unsettled. I would like to apologize to my mom for comments i made yesterday and to a friend for arrogantly thinking i had all the answers. I was on a power trip, using their trust in me to make me feel better by establishing/pointing out how much further in my insights, acceptance, recovery i was than them. I feel shame around that, yet know it did not come from a place of malice, but because i thought i was helpful and wanted to share what was working for me.

 

My hearts desire is for my mom and friend to accept me and still love me despite my flaws. I also want to let go of my negative self talk around the amount of food i ate yesterday. I have very unkind thoughts in my head towards me, which make me angry and sad.

 

I am a commitment to balance, patience and kindness.

My food:

• I had a good breakfast of oats, cottage cheese, fruit and nuts.
• Lunch was a salad with tuna and a whole-wheat pita.
• My dinner was Thai Larb Gai salad, but I ate A LOT of it. I also had a Solero and a hot chocolate for dessert. Along with a couple of pieces of dark chocolate. Erm, dark chocolate rocks.

Thai Larb Gai Salad inspired by this blog here