Travelling for work - To Do's and Not To Do's

I am typing this whilst in Prague, where I attended a meeting with my colleagues from all over Europe. I've mentioned this before, travelling is difficult for me. I love the excitement of going new places, seeing people in the flesh that I work with every day remotely and breaking away from the daily office routine.

I would be lying though if I didn't admit that it is difficult for me. It's better than it was whilst I was in my disorder, but it's still hard. A lifetime ago, I would hunt out the best places to buy food on the taxi ride to the hotel, checking where I can get my fix and would consider what excuses I would use to get away from everyone in the evenings, so I could eat and puke. So, I am oh so glad I'm no longer in that space.

It feels freeing not to feel compulsive around that. I didn't scout for a supermarket, I had unhurried conversations with colleagues and I was present.

On the first and second day. And then, I took my eyes off the ball, feeling cocky and arrogant that I had this recovery shit covered. Did I hell...

My check in:
I have not been so close to breaking my abstinence in the last 10 months as I've been yesterday! It was a slow and gradual process, building up over the day and likely even sooner. I had a snack before lunch, had a bigger lunch, did not more think about it, had various snacks throughout the afternoon, and a big dinner. After returning to my room, I started eating a snack that my colleague had brought along for me as thank you for covering for him during his vacation. It was a big slab of almonds in nougat. Not only was the thing hard to open, so I had several chances to stop and consciously make a decision to go ahead, it was also a mother of calories. I thought, at that point, that I had broken my commitment to sticking to the plan already anyway, that i was allowed to reward myself. I thought that I would not feel remorse and simply pick up with the plan te next day. I had seen your emails throughout the day and felt pressure to follow your suggestions. It ended up with me in bed at 1:00 so uncomfortably full that I seriously considered getting rid of the contents of my stomach quickly. I pulled the emergency hand break and called a fellow in NYC. She talked me off the ledge and I am, this morning, so very thankful for her help.
I also went to weigh myself this morning. This,  I realise, is not a very kind thing to do. Nor is then staring at my belly and arms, trying to detect signs of my flabbiness. I know I am more than my weight,and I still carry a certain number in my head that I would like to be. This is pure punishment and I want to move away from that.
My body and my whole being has been giving me signals all along, when to stop, be that eating, worrying, stressing and working. I want to  be mindful and in balance with nature. I am a commitment to balance and I am so very grateful for not having broken my abstinence last night.

I am feeling much better having returned to London, having reconnected, gone to a meeting, called people and I can now honestly look back over that period and here is my list of do's and don't's:

Don't:

1. Make a plan and ignore it
2. Take an 'all or nothing' approach that translates into 'oh, I've eaten one snack off plan, might as well throw the entire day away and snack like a woman possessed'.
3. Don't buy snacks for the trip. Just don't. There will be food, I won't starve. Even if I do not have an afternoon snack, I will probably not starve. Fact.
4. Weigh myself on a scale. I can't handle it. It makes my head go crazy and I start obsessing about weight, how to get lower, how to diet etc.
5. Let excuses get in the way of connecting with the program. It works, IF YOU WORK IT.

Do:

1. Make a plan and stick to it.
2. Call fellows. Texting doesn't count. Call 'em. There will be 5 minutes, heck, even 2 minutes in the day, where I can call someone. Ideally, before and after meals.
3. Pull the emergency break and rest assured that there is a way out of a binge.
4. For me, texting before each meal/snack is essential, especially when travelling.
5. Taking stock of feelings before each meal is helpful.
6. Acknowledge that food cannot fill the hole I feel.
7. Forgive and move on to the next healthy step towards achieving a balance in life.
8. Writing out my feelings and speaking about things and connecting to the program helps me.

I'm gonna share some of the food pictures of the trip, just because I took them and a post with pictures is more interesting, I think:

The HOTTEST soup ever. EVER.
 

The team dinner

Beef tournedos with herb dumplings and cranberry sauce

Crème Brulee with Shortbread