Beijing Recap and the worst runs of my life

What a week and what amazing experiences! Beijing is so many things - it's HUGE, and chaotic, and polluted, and fascinating, and exciting, and invitingly quiet. And I came away from this one week trip with the worst bout of food poisoning EVER. I mean, I thought I was dying. But let's start at the beginning.

I landed after an uneventful 9.5 hour flight and in my head, the day was supposed to play out like this: I land after getting some sleep on the plane, go to my hotel and spend the afternoon exploring this exciting city. I had looked at the map, saw that Tiananmen Square was measly 6 km from my hotel and thought I'd walk it and then take a cab back or the metro.

In reality, this played out slightly differently. After only sleeping for 3 hours on the plane, waiting forever for a taxi at the airport, I arrived at my very plush hotel.



That bed would have been big enough for 4 people, I kid you not. Very comfy.

Having put down my suitcase, I enthusiastically set off on my 6 km walk. It was smoggy and grey, but so very interesting nonetheless.

I started feeling really hungry and found a 7Eleven that served a lot of hot food. Not being able to speak Mandarin or read any signs, I did what any respectable traveller would do: Point, smile, nod and speak loudly and clearly in English as if that would make the kind people behind the counter understand me.

Some sort of soup with a seaweed thingy and a chicken ball, which was all soft and squishy and probably made of all sorts of chicken bits. Tasted ok.

I have NO CLUE what this was, it was a sort of dumpling filled with an oily, fish egg tasting soft mixture that melted into the broth. I ate most of it. I can attest that this was not the cause of my food poisoning.

Some more pictures of the city:

The bus queuing system - totally spiffy!

My only problem was that I underestimated how friggin' tired I was and my grand plan of hailing a cab or getting on the metro failed spectacularly because I had not written down the hotel's address and so had no point of reference to get back. When I realized that I'd have to walk back all of those fucking 6km, I almost cried. I made it, of course, and was too tired to go to a restaurant so just got myself a selection of foods from the Wal-Mart downstairs (yep, they had a Wal-Mart and apparently it's quite revered).

This is pickled Chinese artichoke. Erm, I would totally lie if I pretended I had known this 10 minutes ago. I googled 'radish that looks like a maggot'. Luckily this lady did all the research for me!



After walking for over 12 km, I felt I deserved some sort of cracker. It was interesting, sweet and salty and morish.

This was oily (a theme in Chinese spicy cooking), cartilage-y (another theme in Chinese cooking) meat that I snuffled down.



Selection of sweet baked items, the sunflower cookie in the back was the best and I felt entitled after that walk!

Dessert that night was a large fruit salad. I thought it was interesting to see a cherry tomato, although it is of course a fruit.

Day 2 to Day 5 were spent in training for work. I took advantage of the ample breakfast buffet in my hotel - one of the swankiest hotels I have so far stayed at and soon found a new favourite: Congee with soy sauce, chives, cilantro, chili oil and some pickled seaweed of sorts. YUM!

Big Ass breakfast with omelette, sautéed veg, a hunk of seeded baguette, some smoked salmon, congee and a bit of oatmeal and a yoghurt.

View from my room on Day 2

Breakfast on Day 3, congee, an egg, muesli and sautéed veg.



This was the spot for 2 of my dinners.  

This place, where I went for dinner twice, was really interesting. A large food court, a cashless system, where on entry I bought a card that was worth 1000 RMB, and then I went from stall to stall, pointed at what looked good and handed over the card to pay. At the end, I handed the card back to get the remainder of the money. Brilliant system.

So for dinner on Day 2, I got two bowls and choose the vegetables (in one bowl) and meats (in another bowl) and then handed them over to the woman behind the counter. The two chefs in the back prepare the stir fry as per instructions. I said hot, well, not really said, I tried to make myself understood by idiotically waving my hand in front of my mouth to show how hot it was. They got the spec. It was friggin hot - oh, and oily.

Spicy stir fry

I also got a good looking bun of sorts that contained a garlicky Chinese green. It was goooooood!!

 

Loved the garlicky inside. mmh.

 Each night, I tried to explore the city a bit by walking around. It's the best way to see any city. I really enjoyed walking the busy streets, seeing the tiny shops crammed next to each other, people coming home from work and buying freshly pulled noodles, dipping into parks, cycling home...


A park in Beijing - it was so tranquil and interestingly, there was an outdoor gym (you know, one of those, where you can make a total ass out of yourself in front of everyone, like, in public) and it was heavily used by men in suits after work.

My last two days were spent visiting my colleagues at our Beijing office and going on a proper sightseeing tour.

After 3 hours of introduction, sharing about our countries, how we do things and what we can learn from one another, I was lucky enough to be taken to a local spot for lunch. I told them I like spicy... it might have been a mistake...

Lunch spot under blossoms

 

What a meal - there was sooo much food!!



Erm, so much for not oily. That film on top? Oil, about an inch deep, that's 2.5 cm of OIL...

 So, my colleagues ordered everything under the sun. I mean, it was a FEAST. I also ate way too much of everything. That whole fear of missing out? Yeah, big time. This was a once in a lifetime foodie experience, and I fully and truly immersed myself in it. I pushed my internal 'fuck it' button and the food plan went out the window...

I had some of everything, multiple times. There was whole chicken that was chopped into tiny bits - skin, bones, tendons... everything. Half was fried with the peppers in hot chili oil, turning the chicken into little red morsels of crunchy skin, crispy, oil-saturated meat and chewy tendons. It tasted so good and the numbness of the peppers in my mouth was addictive.
The other half was boiled in a spicy oily soup with vegetables. I ate more than my fair share and then some of all the stuff surrounding it - scrambled egg with Chinese toon (yeah, look it up, I had no idea it existed either, until I ate it), bamboo shoots, pickled sugar cane, steamed buns, wood ear mushrooms with wasabi, cabbage with bacon, some cold starter of tripe and ear in spicy oil and rice.

My last day in China was spent climbing the Chinese Wall section in Mutianyu and visiting the Forbidden City. It was epic and impressive and just wonderful.

Chinese Wall at Mutianyu - Breath-taking and fucking hard to climb, my calves hurt even now (5 days later)!!

Chinese Wall at Mutianyu

In the Forbidden City

Amazing Forbidden City in Beijing

So pretty - Forbidden City in Beijing

On my walk back from the Forbidden City, I had this craving for fresh strawberries. Did I stop to think about the good advice I got from soooo many people? Nope! Not at all, I brushed it aside and, like a stubborn teenager, decided to piss on the potential consequences and go for the instant gratification and buy and eat them without washing them.

 

Serves me right. Waking up at 3am in the morning with the feeling of just about exploding, making it to the loo in my posh hotel and literally yelling 'fire in the hole', because that's what it felt like, that was so fucking not worth eating a handful of strawberries. Fuck fuck fuck. It was hellish. The 11 hour flight home was even more enjoyable. Poor fuckers on the plane next to the lavatories. My sincerest apologies... really. Sorry.

 

It's been 4 days since I returned and I still feel pretty groggy and can still not poop like a normal person. Enter my messed up thinking: I am convinced I have cholera, but at least I'm not getting fat.

 

I write this callously, but am actually quite scared and really want this to stop...