Lost

I feel lost today and yesterday and I'm having a really hard time being kind to myself.

I feel lost in food. I really want to focus on being kind to myself, to being not so critical and harsh and have just this anger in me - at me - for having so completely failed at this food planning and sticking to it business. I have been horrendously overeating Monday and today as well.

That's actually quite harsh. If my fellow-friends would have said this, I would tell them that the most important aspect to focus on are the positives - that I haven't purged, that overeating by a bit for two days in a row is not the end of the world, that these are good opportunities to learn from and that I might benefit from writing a food plan and trying praying and meditation before each meal.

I have written a food plan for tomorrow:
Breakfast: 1 plate of the buffet style breakfast containing fruit, yoghurt, some granola and potentially some protein and complex carbs if possible.
Lunch: 1 plate of main, a mix of 1 portion carbs, 1 portion protein, 2 portions vegetables.
Afternoon snack: 1 serving of trail mix or fruit/veg.
Dinner: 1 main at the restaurant; 1 glass of wine (but only if the other meals go well).

I will also go to a yoga class in the AM to help with the meditation. I'll go to bed now, feeling uncomfortably full again and not quite being able to stop yelling at myself in my head.

I'm so very glad this is just a 1 week stint and also that I have not purged. It's been 4 months today since I last puked. Yay!!!